Yearly Physicals...

          So I have gone in for my 50,000 mile inspection. All of the girlie tests- normal. The colonoscopy, was a treat. No really. I had a great nap and I got a gold star for my cleansing. I never would have imagined this monologue when I was twenty five. Good grief. And through this whole process, I have been upgraded to hypertension stage-1.

         I have been a big supporter of taking your own blood pressure readings. Your pressure changes through out the day and it is believed that as much a 40% of the public experience white coat fright when they are checked. So, you should take an active role in your blood pressure management.

         I  have  a  paramedic  grade  blood  pressure cuff  ( yes,  I  know  it  is  called  a sphygmomanometer, but I didn't want to brag)  It is a slow and difficult process to take your own readings. It usually requires dislocating an elbow which in turn causes your pressure to rise. So, I went looking for an electric one that is a little easier. I just don't trust their accuracy. I compared the two devices and found that they are both crazy. The electric cuff gave me three different readings in five minutes...aha. I knew these things were off, but then I used my trusty-dusty and it too was all over the place....Quick off to the hallowed halls of knowledge... the inter net. Well, when doing a comparison, "one should wait for ten minutes between taking pressures". How am I supposed to get anything done if I am sitting with my feet flat on the floor and my arm slightly elevated, thinking happy thoughts for ten minutes between readings???

         Also, a little tip, make sure the cuff is the right size. When they are too small, the electric ones are hard to stop in time before your eyes pop out. And then it is really hard to get them back in when your blood pressure has jumped through the roof. A nice feature in the electric one is that it will average the readings for you. This too will keep your pressure down since you don't have to do math.
 
      Another added advantage is the weight loss from BP medication. My sweet mom told me she was pretty sure it was water weight, but I have to believe there is a little more to it. I eat a healthy breakfast now and four hours later I have a sensible lunch and then four hours later a healthy dinner. I  pointed out that I am drinking water like a sailor on leave, and I am getting a great deal of unexpected exercise. I have to  run to the bathroom to pee all day. That has to count for something, right?

          Anyway, long story short, get checked. It is fine to dance around and take a very lax attitude when you are a kid, but once you hit mid-life (that's for those who are going to live to 100) Once you hit mid-life you need to be responsible to your family and take better care of your self.

Peace and love to you all...

I Dream of Zucchini with the Dark Gree-een Hair...

     Okay, so in my community we know better than to visit each other from August through September because you will be forced to take 50 lbs of zucchini with you when you leave. We all grow it and we have run out of ideas of how to use it by August. After you eat your fill of steamed, sauteed, fried, stuffed and stewed you move into cakes, breads, muffins, cookies, pancakes, etc. Then it really gets weird. I have tried zucchini ice cream (yuck) zucchini beer (not too bad, after the third one everything tastes pretty good) and creamed zucchini soup (a little stringy, probably should have peeled it first).

     This is our annual routine. But this year I thought I had out smarted the zucchini. I am down to two plants. Oh yes, when I was young and cocky, I planted a bed of zucchini...twelve plants. The pile fell off of the counter and gave  the cat quite a start. (she still runs if I shout "timber") But, I think my plants are taking steroids. They just won't stop. I just went out to water my carrots and there was another dark, shiny pod. Stretched out in the sun like an old tabby on the window sill; two feet long and about three pounds. I dragged it into the kitchen, tears rolling down my face. My daughter screamed and locked herself in her room.

     "No more, oh please, no more..."

Well, at least until next spring when I will pace around my garden in anticipation chanting,

     "Grow, grow, grow..."


Peace and love to you all...

Paperwork... paperwork...

     Many of you know what it is like to deal with a major governmental agency. You can feel your brain cells being sucked out due to the extreme stupidity of the encounter. My husband is trying to get his papers in order as he explores the possibility of retiring. He has made many appointments with several governmental drones. Last week he discovered that he had to proove that I exsist. What fun we had.

     In our state, you need two forms of ID to get your driver's license, unless ofcourse you are an illegal alien. Then all you need is an accent.

      

          "Buenos dias, yees I waas born een Meecheegan"

 

I had to bring in my brth certificate and my social security card. That's right, it is more difficult to get a license than to become president. And that was the last time I needed my social security card.

     My husband called me and said he needed birth certificates for me and the kids. No problem, between school,  youth programs and church there is always a need for proof of age, but we also needed our social security cards. What !!?? I haven't been asked for my SS card in thirty....I mean a few years anyway. My husband asked,

         

          "You do have one, don't you?"

 

          "Ofcouse I do, Gringo. It's just that after so much time and human moisture (ie. sweat) it looks like a small piece of tattered blue felt."

 

So, off I went to find the paperwork needed. I had the children's SS cards in their babybooks. 

    

          "Why on earth would you glue them in their babybooks?" My cute and innocent husband asked me.

    

          "Because I can find a 2 X 3 piece of blue paper that was issued fifteen years ago and has been moved clear across the state only if it is glued inside a telephone book, that's why!" He's so funny...

 

My tattered piece of blue felt, however, has disintegrated into lint. My sweet toyboy, husband jumped up holding a copy of my W2 form from our taxes like he had found a copy of the Constitution at a yard sale.

 

          "This should do it, but just incase order a duplicate card."

 

At the Social Security Office there are new security rules. I walked in talking on my cell phone with a nail clipper in my hand. I was "hands upped" by a security guard who looked like John Candy without the charming smile.

 

          "New Homeland  Security rules ma'm. No cell phones and nothing sharp or pointy over 2 inches long, under penalty of five years in a federal prison"

 

Great, now the federal marshals can proove my identity after I'm arrested. No such luck, the guard "let me off with a warning". So I put my purse with my deadly cell phone and nail clippers in my car. I came back in and waited 20 minutes for the window. I explained what I was there for and the lady said,

 

          "I need a picture ID, please."

 

A picture ID? The SS card has no picture. My purse is in my car out in the lot. I have to walk past Barney Fife and then come back in and get in line again. Are you kidding!!??

 

          "Beunos Dias,  I waas born een Meecheegan"

 

Peace and love to you all.....

 

 

 

 

Be Sure to Eat Your Green Veggies...

So sorry Mom and Aunt Carol....I mean loyal blog viewers.Internet has been down and I had a Dr's appt. So, here I am, scrambling to get my winter garden in place. Broccoli, cauliflower, chard, cabbage, carrots, onions, Brussels sprouts and tomatoes, that's right tomatoes. They are a vibratory pollinator (that means you gently shake them to pollinate) and make a wonderful indoor or hot house crop for winter. If you had a wonder tomato crop this summer, snip 8-10" off of any indeterminate tomato variety, drop it in some water and you will see roots form and continue that delicious tomato through out winter.

Anyway, I noticed that I ad not yet planted spinach, so I got my seeds planted (I prefer seeds) but to keep me from waiting too long for harvest; I wanted to plant some pony packs too. I put them on the dining room table and went to change so I could dig in to the garden. When I came out I was surprised. the leaves were missing from my plants. Now I paid full price for these plants and they were strong and healthy looking when I bought them. I decided to plant what I had anyway. Maybe they would catch. There they sat, little twigs pointing up to the sky next to the tiny sprigs of seedlings breaking out of the soil. Sure hope those little plant lets catch on.

I went back into the house to start dinner...there were little green puddles all around the kitchen floor. I grabbed a paper towel and began to clean them up,

    "Hey, kids what were you making in here? You didn't clean up"

     "We didn't make anything!!" They shouted back at me. I examined the contents, it looked like
    shredded lettuce. And then it struck me, my spinach!!

     "Where are the cats?"
     "On my bed sleeping, been there for two hours", my daughter called out.

     "The DOG!! He ate my spinach!!"

 Then the kids screamed out,

     "What did you expect, you got mad at him when he ate the chicken?" +sigh+

Peace and love to you all...